As we settled into the ‘new normal’ of the Pandemic several months ago and realized just how serious it was most of us adopted a stiff upper lip attitude and got on with it – what choice did we have?  Most had the mental reserves to suck it up and ‘push on’ through the many changes such as working from home or being confined to home, we pushed on with the childcare issues, we pushed on with the changes to schooling etc etc.  But all of this ‘sucking it up’ is not without a cost and the bill WILL come due mentally and/or physically.

The brain reacts to these ‘novelty’ situations by drawing on adrenaline to energize us to keep on keeping on.  Dr Ann Mastin, a resilience expert, coined the term “surge capacity” (nothing to do with labor surges).  It is a “complex system of mental and physical adaptive systems.”  Mastin describes it as a response that we normally access for short-term survival during a natural disaster such as an earthquake or other high-stress situation.  It goes on for longer than the typical fight/flight response but ends when the stressful situation (flooding, earthquake) ends and the body and brain can return to our normal baseline.

Right now most of us are experiencing a ‘life quake’ and are becoming more depleted by the day. Just like labor we have to think ‘long game’ when it comes to the pandemic.   If we don’t use our resources wisely we can find ourselves mentally and physically exhausted before active labor begins and still have hours ahead of us. Likewise if we’re not pacing ourselves with the Pandemic we’ll run out of the mental energy to keep on keeping on.

As we face into the Winter already feeling already depleted how can we begin replenishing our reserves?

When you’re on your phone are you ‘stress scrolling’? We know that spending too much time on social media can impact our mood but even knowing that it’s bad for us can still be a hard habit to kick as the part of the brain associated with rational decision making is off line. And Facebook/Twitter etc are designed to be addictive to keep you scrolling. When we’re stressed we can mindlessly scroll seeing nothing but bad news which keeps you scrolling.  Instead of scrolling for the next 15 minutes - use the Grounding Meditation in the GentleBirth app and notice how your mood can feel a little lighter during the day.

If possible get outdoors once a day – being in nature even in Winter can boost your mood.

Do something that nourishes and nurtures you emotionally every single day. That can be something as simple as savoring some of your favorite chocolate, listening to your favorite music or watching the rain.

Accept with self compassion that right now this is how things are, they suck, and fighting with reality will only make you more miserable (control the controllables – your mindset).

Try to make a note on your phone or a notebook everyday of something you’re grateful for.  You can’t be stressed and grateful at the same time.  Or keep it really simple and look for one thing each day that delights you, make a mental note of it…tomorrow look for two things that delight you…the more you intentionally look for delight instead of doom the more you’ll find.

Set a timer on your phone (you chose the time) that you will sit for 3 minutes and bring to mind a memory of an experience that brings up happy memories for you. Really bask in those memories.  Neuroscientist Rick Hanson calls this a positive state ‘installation’.  The brain is wired for threat not happiness so positive memories aren’t as ‘sticky’ as negative ones.  It takes more effort to ‘install’ a positive memory but these memories will reduce stress hormones and increase feel good hormones such as endorphins, oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin.

Make an effort to stay connected with friends and family – I know this is one of the hardest. When we’re feeling depleted it can feel easier to just retreat… that’s ok now and then but community and connection is important for mental health. 

Feelings of grief and loss of how things used to be is normal.  Allow yourself the grace and space to be ok with not being ok.

What has helped you replenish yourself emotionally?

Tracy