Jessica describes her journey to a positive birth in Galway.

This was my first baby and while I was so excited, initially I was very fearful of birth. I decided to go to pregnancy yoga around 12 weeks. I had been doing pilates before this. Pregnancy yoga was amazing, so relaxing and I loved meeting other pregnant women and hearing how they were getting on. I attended a workshop which involved talks from a doula, midwife, physio and women's mental health psychiatrist. I learned so much about how having a calm and gentle birth was possible and was starting to become less fearful. I read Milli Hills positive birth book, Katherine Graves hypnobirthing book, and Ina May Gaskins Guide to Childbirth. All these books really reframed my mindset about childbirth

 I would watch positive natural birth videos on YouTube and listen to my hypnobirthing tracks before bed while I had lavender diffuser going. I hired my amazing doula Bairbre Brooke after hearing her speak at the workshop and she was so amazing to have as a support be able to ring in the final weeks and ask questions and to reassure me. 

I met Bairbre several times in my final trimester and we created our birth preferences together. She had so much knowledge on evidence based practices and hospital policies and was familiar with the staff and policies in UCHG where I was to give birth. I also used the GentleBirth App towards the end of my pregnancy. I tried to walk everyday and listen to my positive birth affirmations and perfect positioning affirmations.

I did perineal massage almost every day from about 36/37 weeks. I started eating 6 dates per day and drinking raspberry leaf tea from about 38 weeks.

I had a really positive pregnancy and felt great all along. I was determined to put in all the work in order to have a calm natural gentle birth. My mother had two caesareans for me and my brother as she was diabetic, and her mother (my granny) had 7 caesarean sections because she was told her hips were too narrow. I was really hoping to be able to have a natural spontaneous labour and birth for myself. 

I had been seen by the community midwives all along, and while it was a different midwife each time, I found it a good service. I was 3 days overdue when I went to the consultants appointment. The consultant was lovely and reviewed my birth preferences. He checked my tummy and said baby's head is still high and I would probably take another week but he had to have a cut off date for induction. He offered Thurs or Friday 40+12 or 40+13. We opted for Friday to give myself as much time as possible to go into spontaneous labour.

The consultant was very respectful of my wishes and said he thought I would labour myself but asked that I come to the  hospital next week for a scan to monitor the baby. I kept doing all my exercises e.g. Spinning babies, walking, on my exercise ball, listened to the positive induction gentlebirth track, had baths. Bairbre came to the house and did some relaxation and different positions to move baby into OA and into the pelvis. I also went to her house and she showed me more positions to try and did homeopathy and basically put my mind at ease and reminded me that my body would go into spontaneous labour eventually. I was getting more and more anxious and frustrated as the week went on with my induction date looming and everyone asking 'any sign of baby' and 'why are they leaving you go so long' . 

On Wednesday (40+11, two days before induction) I slept in, watched a movie in bed, went for a massage, went to pregnancy yoga, came home and had a bath and listened to the positive induction track. I noticed a slight bloody show before and after yoga and later that evening which got me very excited so I rang my Bairbre who said I could go into labour in the next 24hours but it could be longer . That night I woke up around 12am with period like cramps and I noticed they were coming and going in waves. I was getting excited but didn't want to get my hopes up so tried to sleep. The waves started to get more noticeable and I needed to use my breath through them. I stated timing them on my phone and noticed they were lasting from 20 to 40 seconds but were coming every 1 to 3 minutes. At 3.30am I had to sit up and really breath through them, I woke my partner and texted my doula. She phoned and suggested I put on the tens machine and walk around. She decided to come to the house because the waves were so close together.

I used the TENs machine and leaned on the bed or couch swaying my hips and breathing through each contraction. My doula came to the house and suggested getting in the bath but not long after, suggested that it was time to go to the hospital as my waves were taking all of my attention and happening very close together. I was nervous but excited and couldn't believe that this was finally happening! The car journey was not as bad as I expected but I really concentrated on my breathing through each one. I had the labour companion track playing on the car radio. We got to the hospital around 5am and I had about 3 contractions between the car park and signing in. The midwives read my birth plan and were very nice, they explained that although I didn't want to have VE they would have to check me to see how dilated I was to decide if I go to the Labour ward or delivery room. I agreed but it was hard to lay on my back. She told me I was 2cm dilated and asked if I wanted to go home, we told her we were about 40mins drive from the hospital. I had several contractions at this stage and the midwives saw how I was reacting to them and decided that I should go to the delivery room which was such a relief . We went to the room and got settled in. I got ready for the bath and my partner, midwives and doula set up the bath with candles and fairy lights. I got changed and got into the bath around 6am, the water was such a relief and so relaxing. I had the labour companion track from gentlebirth playing in the background on repeat.

My doula massaged my back while my partner did strong hip squeezes during contractions which really helped. I was on all fours for most of the time but changed positions to lying back and holding onto a bar above my head in the bath. I only got out once to use the toilet and stayed on the toilet for a while but wanted to get back in the bath again. It was so relaxing and I really felt in control. My doula kept saying positive birth affirmations and I focused in on every word she said. I told myself that the pain was good and thought about my massage I had had the day before to relax me. I thought of each contraction as a wave, thinking 'OK its building now, then this is hardest part, it's nearly over, then it eased'. The midwives were brilliant and only came in every so often to check the baby's heart rate, I didn't even notice when they came in or left the room and they waited for each contraction to end before taking the heart rate and my temperature. I had quite bad reflux during my labour and the midwives offered Gaviscon which I refused. My contractions still came every 2 mins lasting about a minute. After about 5 hours in the bath I felt something come out and when my doula checked it was my waters. At this point I was told I needed to get out of the bath which I really didn't want to do. I got into a wheelchair to be brought to the delivery room and my waters broke on the way. I was told there was meconium in the waters.

The room was set up with the lights dimmed and my battery candles and lavender oil in the diffuser and the labour companion track still playing. I used the birthing stool up on the bed and leaned forward on it on all fours. I stayed here for some time and then the midwife told me that because there was meconium in the waters they would have to use the ctg to track babies heart beat which I had said in my birth preferences that I didn't want a ctg monitor. I refused the ctg at first but the midwife kept asking me again and again if they could put it on. I think I was so exhausted that in the end I agreed to have it on. It was very uncomfortable and in order to keep the readings more accurate my doula tried to keep it in place but it was very uncomfortable and distracting. The midwife then kept saying that the baby's heart rate was slowing down and that they would have to call in the doctor. I asked for more time but eventually they insisted. I changed position and stood up at the edge of the bed leaning onto the birthing stool. The midwives were saying that my labour was stalling and that they would be expecting me to feel the urge to push at the end of the contractions. I had been feeling a slight urge to push but then started to verbalise this a bit more so they knew.

I tried getting up onto the bed on all fours leaning on the birth stool again. Eventually the doctor came in. He was extremely nice and sensitive and waited for contractions to be over before talking to me. He explained very clearly his concerns and that he would like baby to come out sooner rather than later. He asked if he could check me to see how dilated I was. I refused initially but they insisted that they needed to know so they could decide what needed to be done. This meant getting on my back which I did not want to do but they said it would be the only way they could check me. I agreed but found that VE quite intense but he said I was fully dilated and he could feel the head. They gave me time to have a few more contractions whilst lying on my side and pulling my leg back. The midwife calmly spoke to me saying she knew it was in my birth preferences that I didn't want coached pushing but she felt that it was really needed at this point. I wanted to try other positions but they encouraged me to try this one with couched pushing as it is usually successful. I agreed and followed their instructions. I was a bit disappointed as this was not what I had planned at all but I was exhausted and so ready for baby to be here that I put all my energy into it and the coaching really made me focus. I could really feel the pressure of baby moving down and in the back of my mind I was a little nervous about the crowning and tearing. I reminded myself of how women described the pushing part as enjoyable and really visualised baby moving down.

The doctors continued to say that they really wanted the baby to be born soon and they felt that a kiwi (vacuum) would be the best option. I said no and asked for more time. The doctor reluctantly agreed but said it again and again. I continued to refuse and pushed myself whenever a contraction came. I listened to my doula who was telling me birth affirmations and guiding me to relax between contractions which was so calming for what was quite a stressful situation. The doctor said that he really needed to help the baby out. I asked did I have to have an episiotomy for a kiwi and he said yes. I refused the episiotomy several times.  A senior midwife then offered to do a manual procedure to see if she could get the baby's head to turn into the right position. I agreed to let her try. I had to be on my back for this which was uncomfortable at first but fine after a few minutes.This was intense but successful and the baby's head was in a good position. I had a few more contractions on my back and then the senior midwife really encouraged me to get the episiotomy as my perineum wasn't stretching and I would tear, I asked my doula what I should do and she said ideally I wouldn't have an episiotomy but at this stage it might be the best thing for the baby.

I agreed and they put my legs in stirrups and the doctor did the local anaesthetic and the episiotomy. He was very respectful and explained everything that he was doing and said he would do a small cut. After this I did more coached pushing with each contraction. The doctor said he really needed to get the kiwi at this stage and on the next contractions I pushed as hard as I could. Then things got moving and the doctor encouraged me to keep pushing as I was moving the baby down myself. I held my partners hand and pushed with everything I had. I could feel the baby moving further and further down. The coached pushing actually helped although I didn't like how they made me hold my breath and I knew the reason the baby's heart rate was going down was because I was holding my breath. However, the he whole team in the room was behind me and encouraging me to push this baby out myself which was so empowering. Then a midwife said put your hand down and feel the head, I could feel the top of the baby's head crowning and I couldn't believe it, I was so happy the baby was nearly here. So holding onto my partners hand I just listened to him telling me to push as hard as I could that the baby was nearly here that the head was nearly out. Again the whole room was cheering me on and I pushed so hard I nearly blacked out. Next thing I hear everyone saying 'the baby's here put your hands down and catch your baby' so I put my hands down and pulled baby onto my chest. It was the most amazing feeling and I just burst out crying. The midwives were all around him trying to clean him and put a hat on him and I asked them to stop and that I didn't want him cleaned or a hat. They gave me a towel and encouraged me to rub his back to stimulate his breathing.

One paediatrician wanted the cord cut immediately but my midwife insisted that it stop pulsating before cutting it as per my birth preferencees. My doula cut the cord. I almost forgot to check the gender but my partner was able to see and I saw and we both said 'it's a boy!' then they had to take him away to be checked as his heart rate had been so low, they had him on the incubator table and were giving him oxygen through a mask which was pretty hard to watch and I was very emotional. My doula helped me get my bikini top off so I could have more skin to skin and try to breastfeed. They put him back on my chest after what felt like the longest time and my doula helped him into a position to try the breast crawl which he did which was so amazing to see. He attempted to latch and he was so content on my chest. We were allowed over an hour of skin to skin while I delivered the placenta naturally and while they did my stitches. 

Then they wrapped him up and we were moved to the post natal ward where we spent the next three days getting to know each other and in our lovely little baby bubble.

While it was not exactly the birth I planned, I was so happy I avoided induction and went into spontaneous labour, I loved the first stage of labour at home and in the bath and despite having to be monitored on ctg, on my back, in stirrups and getting an episiotomy, I felt so strong, empowered, respected and in control of my body that it was such a positive birth experience. The staff in the hospital really listened to my wishes, tried to stick to my birth preferences, discussed my options, explained everything clearly and gave me some time to deliver as naturally as possible. I simply could not have done it without my partner and amazing doula Bairbre who kept me calm relaxed and in the zone the whole time. 

Baby Jamie was born on 20/02/2020 at 15.23 after 13.5 hours of labour weighing 8lbs 3oz and we're madly in love!

Birth doula and GentleBirth Instructor Bairbre Brooke - www. GalwayDoula.ie