Just thought I'd share my story in case it helps any moms to be. At the beginning of August I gave birth to a 10lb 2 oz baby and despite being very petite and less than 5ft 3inches I didn't need a single stitch. I wanted to begin with that in case anyone is worried about having a "big baby".

My first birth was by forceps and yet I think back on that time as one of the happiest times of my life with my first baba despite the pain and recovery because of how good my head was! I never felt more confident and sure of myself as a brand new mammy and that was down to GentleBirth - I'm not naturally like that! Thank you for your amazing program. I just want a bit of that for every woman I meet!

TLDR: Remember your shower cap and gardening kneeler, bring extra towels in the car, use the GentleBirth labor companion , rest, use emotional signposts of labor, dance and dance some more, watch a comedy, ask for what you want in the hospital, tell them how you're feeling, say no to interventions if you don't want them and baby is well and find the wiggle room if you're in a grey area-watch for their reaction to see if it's impatience or real urgency. (Snr midwife 1 was actually fine with my choice to refuse synthetic oxytocin once I'd said no-she reassured my midwives "they're just early decels" & told them when to call her back) Small mom & big baby is fine if enough time given, keep nibbling to keep energy up, you'll find reserves you don't know you have in labor, even with coached pushing listen to your body and do it your way, and YOU CAN DO IT. 

I found the pregnancy very tough & my immune system wasn't great so I caught every bug going but it was a "healthy pregnancy" so I knew I was lucky. I like being independent and active so the fact I had to lean heavily on my husband for everything was a mental struggle.

I couldn't wait for labor!

The day before labor began (2 days before my due date) I was incredibly uncomfortable with a very sensitive bladder that I felt I couldn't empty.. a bit like a UTI feeling. The whole pelvic area felt strange and baby seemed to be poking me in the nether regions and I hoped this wouldn't be a new dose & that it was a warm up instead! I had been having small amounts of discharge in the days before that I thought could be the beginning of a show though it was clear so I wasn't sure.

At 4am the next morning I got a grabbing feeling in my groin that moved to the front near my bladder. It was coming and going and intensifying so I knew that things had begun - I was thrilled! I spent the morning going between my bed and the bathroom. For fun I began timing them at 6:30 am and they were coming every 3-4 mins and lasting just over and under 30 seconds.

They were strong enough but I was in great form and totally manageable when I remembered to breathe properly. I stopped timing them at 7 because I wanted to relax and get in the zone.

I had a bowl of oats with fruit and nuts and decided to get my sleep headphones and gentlebirth labor companion track and head back to bed. Lying down on my left side seemed to increase the intensity but make them space further apart so I had more time to rest and doze in between so I think I actually slept! I woke at 9:30 and the surges had spaced out nicely for me and were less intense.

My day was spent passing the time, chatting to my 2 girls in between contractions until my mam came to collect them. I texted my friend, did my toe nails. Most of all danced to my tracks on Spotify! The clip shared lately are exactly the moves that I found worked. My contractions went from pretty intense to very mild when I danced and it was really good fun!

I had a shower too and found going on all fours and letting the water warm my back was lovely!

Back Labor

At this point I knew it was another back labor so it would be a while and I was in it for the long haul! It was very freeing not timing contractions and just looking out for emotional signposts. I couldn't go by intensity or spacing or length as my previous labor was so irregular and my contractions never really lasted longer than 45 seconds that time. I can't remember if I tried another nap at that point.

I was starting to get a bit less chirpy by 7pm - some of the contractions were only 2 mins apart - and I think I decided to watch Derry Girls for a laugh and sit on my ball. At this point there was a lot of running to the loo and I was needing to focus on each contraction a good bit.

 Off to Hospital We Go

At 9:30 I decided to go to bed & listened to my labor companion. I noticed I was now trembling and nauseous and had a slight bit of doubt about my plan of waiting till I'd been in labor 24hrs. I knew deep down I wouldn't be far along but decided to ring the Coombe anyway. I informed them that it was back labor and my third baby and that I'd been getting contractions since 4 but that my last labor was long and I doubted I was even 1cm. But I was trembling and nauseous so just wondered what to do as I didn't feel like that till the end of my last labor. I said I didn't want to come in if I wasn't going to be admitted because I was very tired and needed rest and not to walk the halls till 1am like the last time. The midwife told me if I wanted to be admitted she'd admit me.

When I was checked I was fully effaced and 1-2cm which delighted me because I hadn't expected to have dilated at all if I was on the same timeline as my last labor. I didn't fight the admissions trace though it was in my preferences not to have one though I did question it a good bit. The answer was they needed a baseline..
I was admitted to a two person room on the ward which I had to myself and problem just as well as I was becoming noisy when I lay down. I found reaching up into the air and "singing" helped me through a contraction.

I really didn't feel right upright as there was a huge amount of pressure on my back passage that felt painful (due to a varicose vein but I didn't realize that and was worried!) was bearing down with every contraction. Midwives were sure I'd progressed and was ready to push with the frequency and intensity but I knew I wasn't. I let them check anyway (wanted them to see I was right!)

I refused ARM (artificially breaking the waters) but they went themselves soon after. I had a shower but really wanted to be on all fours and the ground was too rough for my dodgy knees (made a mental note to tell my sister and anyone on the GentleBirth group to bring a gardening kneeler pad!)

I desperately wanted to be horizontal due to the pressure and was so worried about what was happening in my back passage -I thought I was damaging myself. I had a wobble and told my husband and midwife I couldn't do it anymore. The labor companion track was a Godsend at this time. I could actually feel my whole body involuntarily relaxing and any pain easing as I listened. I nibbled a one of those date and nut raw bars for energy.

Eventually I was dilated enough to be admitted to labor ward but the pool was occupied so I decided my plan B was an epidural. I had really really wanted to avoid the trace and to stay mobile but since being mobile felt so wrong, I decided to take my chances with the trace in the hopes I'd get a nap!

I had a fantastic midwife in the labor ward who kept telling me I was doing amazing and really didn't need the epidural.

I then was made read a consent form about the risks which I was very impressed with (considering on my first baby I was asked repeatedly to get an epidural!) The anesthetist didn't seem to want to give me it either. I knew I may have 8 hours ahead of me and I really wanted a nap and said so!

It didn't really work! Partial block in one leg, did nothing with the contractions but it did take away the pressure in my back passage and that was really the main thing. I was happy enough even though a nap was no longer in the cards! I didn't feel like I was bearing down as much anymore either so the worry went.

The Labor Companion was on repeat (thanks to Gordon) I was in the space where I was going to give birth and I felt good! Drank water, nibbled my bar and let time go by quickly and pleasantly - til there was a shift change!

For some reason, it was like the trace picked up on my mild anxiety on a shift change and started to act up. The midwife and student midwife were so lovely and when I said to them it was my anxiety kicking off the trace they reassured me and said they'd take great care of me. The trace continued to act up intermittently so I was now on alert for interventions being offered.

I was now 10cm and wanted passive descent. I explained to my midwives that I needed to mind my pelvic floor as my sister was pregnant with her first, and nervous so I HAD to be ok afterwards for her sake!

A senior midwife came in and said I was going to be put on a drip. I thought she meant fluids as I was thirsty (and didn't realize I was already on fluids that weren't working well) said 'grand!' I saw my husband's face (horrified) and asked 'what drip?' I'd missed the part where she'd said synthetic oxytocin! My response to that was "God no!!"

She argued that baby was high, in an OP (posterior position) my contractions may not be strong enough, and the trace was non reassuring. I argued I was on my back after a vaginal exam and baby didn't like that, he'd be happy again when I was on my left. I moved back to show her & the trace settled. She replied that the decelerations may get worse and I said "If they do, then we'll talk again"

She said she was recording I'd refused and I said grand and went back to my passive descent. I think her shift ended there anyway! Another senior midwife who was taking over from her went through my history with me asked me did I think this was a big baby (noooo.....) and then just let me at it.

My own midwives and husband facilitated me in moving upright kneeling and leaning on the back of the bed. I moved in ways that felt right and did little trial pushes as I could feel my body bearing down a bit again. I had about 2 hours of that. My midwife asked could she try something and I think what she did was called Cook counter pressure from looking it up but I'm not sure, she pushed on my sitz bones as I pushed against her and it felt right. We did that for a little while.

I did a mix of coached pushing and my own then with my midwives til they had to call the senior midwife due to time and the trace and the baby being very high.. not sure what the criteria was!

While they were gone I did my own moves on all fours & did a good big push or two so that when the senior midwife came back I was crowning or at least down anyway. They thought I'd done it on purpose but I hadn't! The senior midwife wanted to see a trial push without a contraction in case it wasn't really me pushing (to see if I was fatigued maybe?) and seemed happy that I was able to get the baby out myself. I was offered a warm compress to prevent tearing and after I made them explain it I agreed. I was very much in the form to say no to everything offered at that point!

After a few big pushes and then a "stop pushing" I heard "My God, that's a big head..." Then another big push or two "That's a big baby!" It was very funny.

Baby boy was born at 10:46am!

The senior midwife said "I think stubborn women do best in labor - you must never win an argument" to my husband. There was a great feeling of celebration.

Later when they were checking me I felt like cheering when they said I didn't need stitches - I was so happy to bring that story back to my sister! I've a gorgeous little boy now and he'll be my last baby. I feel like he's a fantastic end to an epic journey. 

Sarah