Positive Birth with Cholestasis - Emilie's Experience
Emilie describes the steps she took to prepare for a positive induction.
I was diagnosed with cholestasis at 32 weeks, which means I learned the hospital I was planning on birthing at won’t allow me to get in the water because I was going to be induced (due to possible risk of stillborn because of cholestasis).
My bile acid levels were rising, so my OB said it would be best if we induced at 36 weeks. Anxiety and nervousness set in, but I discovered hypnobirthing the week before and dove head first into practicing this mindset. I got the book with the Mongan method and the GentleBirth app and started practicing for a gentle, confident induction.
I was nervous about the pitocin because it wasn’t natural, but it was needed to get things started and ultimately to have a healthy baby. I went in on induction day (October 2nd) and was calm and confident. Thanks to the book and you guys with your stories, I felt like I had a whole toolbox of things to use, I just knew I needed to believe it enough that my body could do it when it was needed most.
The contractions were waves on the ocean for me, and as they got stronger, I really relied on the “they are my friends, helping me get to my baby one at a time” affirmation, so I named them Violet. Violet and I got to know each other from 10am till 5:00pm. I stayed active, bouncing/sitting on the ball, walking around the halls listening to the gentle birth app. Every time they checked me, I was getting closer and closer—4cm, 4cm 90% thinned, 5cm.
At this point, my doctor comes in and says she thinks breaking my water will help baby move down a little quicker and might get things moving faster. I was critically thinking through everything and not just doing whatever they said, although I ended up being really quiet and was so thankful my husband (labor companion) were completely on the same page and he ended up talking for me, saying exactly what I would have said. After my waters were broken, there was such relief and it was getting real that I was going to meet my baby soon. I decided to help things move around by trying to get up (waves were more intense, but I was calm and breathing with my husband) and I was elated that the pressure was more because it was making me closer, which made the waves easier to ride. As I turned to get up, my calm husband says there is some blood, so he goes to get the nurse in a calm way (he later says he was screaming in his head, but didn’t want to stress me out). The nurse comes in very calmly and they have me sit down so she can let the doctor check.
The doctor wasn’t sure if it was my cervix bleeding (still could do it vaginally) or if it was a placenta abruption. At this point the waves were very intense with intense cramping so no relief, but my husband was right there keeping me calm and my in for 4 out for 8 breathing got me through. They decided to wait to see how baby was handling it, and, after 5 minutes, come back in and say baby is in distress.
The affirmation “I am flexible with my birth” popped in my head and I kept saying it over and over as my husband started talking for me (again, so thankful). They said it would be best to do a Cesarean because of baby, and I agreed (the extra crazy surges were starting to make sense). I didn’t want an epidural, so we agreed on a spinal and within 15 minutes, my precious Everlie was born, screaming, pink, and perfect. I have never felt the feeling of pure overwhelmingness than when they lifted her over that curtain and showed her to me. Because of the shock, I started violently shivering, and continued to do that for the next hour. I was also vomiting whatever was left of my stomach, as I turned with a smile on my face and saw my husband cut the cord.
When I was getting the spinal, I started singing to myself, thinking if I stay calm, baby will stay calm. It totally worked. Hypnobirthing is the way to go, no matter what path your birth plan needs to take for a healthy baby. I don’t regret anything. It made for a perfect and enjoyable day, with the pink icing on the top at the end.
Even though it wasn’t how I planned, I was surprisingly okay with it and so happy that it was the perfect birth for us.
They told me after if we had waited 15 minutes later it would not have been good for us. My nurse had no idea I had a placenta abruption as bad as it was because I wasn’t letting on that I had pain like I had. She told me “this hypnobirthing thing works” “you should teach a class on it”. When she would walk in on me meditating and listening being calm, she said she couldn’t stay in the room or she would fall asleep! I thought my contractions were normal because I had heard it was uncomfortable and this is my first natural child, so I just kept trying to ride those waves and get to know Violet more.
It was the perfect day! I still can’t get over that I did it and it was successful. It made me realize your mind is so powerful and your mindset can really make or break a situation. God was watching over us ❤️
Everlie Mae 7lbs 3oz 20in long
Everlie Mae 7lbs 3oz 20in long