My name is Laura, I’m married to John and we have 2 daughters, Alison and Emma. 

Alison, our eldest, was born in September 2017 and Emma arrived in April 2020. Both of our girls were born at home in our apartment. To prepare for both births I used the GentleBirth app. At about 26 weeks pregnant with Alison, I attended a GentleBirth course with the amazing gentle birth educator, doula and yoga teacher, Lara Dunlea in Bray. That was the first I had heard of GentleBirth and I found it fascinating, eye opening and fundamentally important information. Here are my birth stories:

Alison’s Arrival

It’s nearly 3 years ago since Alison was born as I write this so I’ll do the best I can to recall. As mentioned previously, my husband and I completed the GentleBirth workshop over two days with Lara at about 26 weeks pregnant. Before doing that course, which came highly recommended to be by various friends, from various circles, I knew very little about giving birth. Initially, we had been registered for semi-private care in a hospital in Dublin but after completing the GentleBirth course, we moved to Private Midwives Ireland under the care of a wonderful midwife, Madeline Gohrs. From there we began to plan our homebirth.

My due date for Alison was September 6th 2017 and I had been having regular acupuncture sessions in the final trimester. I had also been listening to guided meditations on the Gentle Birth app daily. On my due date, my fantastic acupuncturist Roisin Healy did a full ‘induction’ session involving needles attached to electrodes and a lot of work on the points between my thumb and index finger. I remember leaving my appointment that day and Roisin gently saying to me “best of luck, your waters will break in the next 24 hours”. I was surprised! How did she know that? It couldn’t be that simple, could it? But sure enough that night at about 3am I felt a sudden, fast and very spontaneous little surge followed by some water running down my legs when I jumped up out of the bed. I assumed this was my waters breaking and got all excited! I woke my husband but because I still wasn’t having any regular surges I just put on a maternity pad and went back to sleep.

Of course, I couldn’t sleep. At 5am I got up and ate some breakfast and put on Netflix to try and relax. At 7am, I had another sudden, fast and very spontaneous contraction, it was much bigger and this time my waters really went! There was much more fluid than I was expecting. I texted my midwife to let her know. She said that clearly I had responded well to the acupuncture so call Roisin and see if she’ll do another session today to kick start regular contractions.

We were on our way to lunch at about 1pm that day when Roisin called to come on in for a session. I believe she had been trying to move things around to see me. I went to see her right away. My only real memory of that session is a lot of work on that same point between my thumb and index finger. It was quite painful and I recall her saying “I know this is a sensitive spot but I assure you, if you can handle this, you’ll have no problems in labour”. She was very generous with her positive reinforcement and it worked, I felt great! After that, we had a late lunch in a cafe in Monkstown and then went back home to try and get things moving!

At home I got comfy, turned on the heat and tried to watch some oxytocin-inducing TV. I felt quite relaxed and excited and from about 3pm onwards was having mild surges every 20-30 minutes. By 5pm the contractions were every 10 minutes and knowing my midwife was a bit of a drive away we called her again and she was on her way. She was due to bring a Tens machine and I thought by then that I could really do with using it. However, it wasn’t meant to be. Madeline had lent her Tens machine out to someone and forgotten to get it back. So at 5:30pm John shot off to a nearby ‘Boots’, leaving me alone with contractions every 5 or 6 minutes apart. I genuinely was relaxed as my contractions were not as intense as I was expecting.

John arrived home around about the same time that Madeleine arrived and everything really calmed down again for a while. The surges were still very manageable, I could talk through them and we were all just chatting. John was heating up lasagna and I was just pacing around the sitting room. By the time the lasagna was ready to serve, I was mid-surge and nearly threw it at John when he put it in front of me. I had lost my appetite apparently. I believe it was about 6:30pm when Madeline produced a homeopathic remedy called Caulophyllum C30. It was nearing 12 hours since my waters had broken so I think that prompted Madeline to get things going. She dissolved a tablet in some water and wow, there was no looking back from that. Quite suddenly, I was leaning over a desk in our sitting room in what felt like non-stop surges. I recall trying to muster the energy to tell Madeline that I was nervous because I wasn’t getting any break between the surges anymore. Madeline told me not to worry that I’d get a break soon. She was telling lies, of course, but her assurance helped me to relax. 

From about 7pm onwards, I was having surge after surge after surge with little or no breaks. I believe this was when Madeline declared established labour in my notes. I moved into the bedroom from the desk in the sitting room. We live in an apartment so that was only a short walk down the hall but it felt like a mammoth task at the time. I labored almost all of the rest of Alison's short labour on my bed. 

At first I was leaning forward holding on to large pillows for every surge. At one point Madeline did a vaginal exam, I only had that one vaginal exam throughout the labour. She found it difficult to reach my cervix and mentioned that it was in the anterior position. She told me that I was only about 2cm dilated at that time. I’ve heard people be disappointed by numbers such as “only 2cm” but all I remember taking from it was that my cervix was very far back and pointing towards my lower back. I have no idea if Madeline told me to change things up or if I got this idea or ‘knowing’ myself, but I recall after that exam hanging off John's shoulders and leaning all the way back for every surge. I believe that I was moving Alison’s head from pushing into my lower back, to pushing downwards and out. Again, I’m not sure if I was told or just knew but I was sure the more I leaned back the more she was moving towards the outside world.

I can hand on heart say the surges were not painful. They were powerful, but I didn’t feel any pain in the laboring. It simply felt natural, normal and right. I had a strong faith and again I felt a familiar ‘knowing’ in what was happening despite it being my first time.

John still talks about that time with awe. He said I was making shaman noises and that I seemed utterly in another world. I believe I was in another world. I recall a clock in the room not making any sense, time was very skewed for me. I’d look at the clock and see 8:20pm then seconds later it might say 9:15pm, then an hour would pass and I’d look again only to see 9:17pm. It was surreal. 

At 9:30pm I started asking if I could move to the birthing pool. We didn’t have it filled in advance and I have to say I was really thrown when John had to leave to go fill it. I wanted him with me for every surge and I was quite upset when he left the room. Madeline tried to fill in but I didn't feel as comfortable pulling so hard on her shoulders! Still, soon enough it was time to move back to the sitting room to get into the pool. It wasn't easy getting in as the surges were so close together. I don’t recall much of that time but once in the water, the surges really took off and I felt I just had to push. After the first intense pool surge, Madeline asked me to breath little fast breaths to ease things. During the second pool surge, I tried my best to do as directed but by the third I had lost all control of these powerful surges and Alison shot out in one fast and furious surge. John caught her and lifted her to Madeline but the cord was wrapped tightly around her neck. Once the cord was removed, she was placed on my chest and Madeline and Liz (the second midwife who had arrived as I was getting in the pool!) cleared her airways. 

Poor little Alison had a very low Apgar score initially and had to receive oxygen. I think she was as shocked as the rest of us by her fast arrival! However, within a few minutes of oxygen, she was crying and her Apgar was up to 10. We had delayed cord clamping in the pool, John cut the cord and then shortly afterwards we all moved into the bedroom. We were curled up in bed by 11pm and I delivered the placenta in bed a little later while John and Alison had skin to skin. She was born at exactly 10:31pm. 

Later that night, Madeline and Liz helped me into the shower to clean up and then examine me. As it turned out during Alison's fast birth, I had torn quite badly and so at about 2am we all transferred to hospital in an ambulance. Me for some stitches, and Alison for additional checks given her low Apgar score at birth. The team in the hospital were extraordinarily kind and supportive, they saw us very quickly. A pediatrician gave Alison the all clear and a lovely midwife gave me a couple of stitches. Funnily that was the only time I used pain relief, I used gas and air during the stitches and it was a very quick procedure. I was discharged again that same morning and back home to rest by 7am.

Emma’s Birth

When I became pregnant the second time I booked in with the Domino midwife scheme for another homebirth. I was due on April 04th 2020, I loved that date and hoped for our baby to be one of the rare exceptions born on her due date.

Right away this pregnancy was different, I felt unwell from the get go. In fact, before I even knew I was pregnant I was just feeling “off”. But of course, we had planned this and were excited for everything to come. We excitedly told friends and family the good news early on. When I was about 12 weeks pregnant I was signed off work for two weeks. I was so nauseous that I wasn’t eating much, my blood pressure was low and my sleep was suffering. The two weeks seemed a lot as work was very busy, but right away I began sleeping huge amounts and could feel that it had been the right call to slow down.

I headed back to work feeling better but still struggling to keep food down, and a few weeks later during a routine GP appointment I was signed off again. This time my bump was measuring small and I was very run down. I had been working long hours and was struggling to balance everything. I was about 18 weeks pregnant at that point and didn’t go back to work at all before Emma's arrival. This meant that I had a lot of time to plan and rest so I would be strong and for the birth. 

However, 2020 brought us all many unforeseen circumstances. When the Covid pandemic hit in March there was a lot of confusion for many industries. I felt unsure about whether or not Domino midwives would continue doing home births throughout the pandemic and different midwives on the scheme seemed to have different points of view. Right around that time Lara, my gentle birth instructor from 2017 and my long-time wonderful yoga teacher, introduced me to a lovely independent HSC midwife who was working in my area. Carolyn had worked in Holles street in the past and was now working independently. She helped me make the switch from Domino midwives to her care quickly and easily. Throughout the stress of Covid and in the weeks before Emma’s birth Carolyn visited me at home regularly. It was such a relief to have consistent care with someone who I could get to know without ever having to leave my home during such strange uncertain times. 

This time round because of Covid I had no acupuncture in my final weeks of pregnancy. In fact, Alison’s creche had closed so I had no acupuncture and very little rest! I was suddenly minding an active toddler all day everyday while my husband worked. When my husband's office closed I had the added challenge of trying to keep her out of our apartment during work hours so he could get work done. By the time I was 40 weeks pregnant I was struggling to keep up with Alison and really looking forward to being more mobile!

On April 07th I had a routine visit with Carolyn and I think we all felt I was ready to go. Alison had been born pretty quickly for a first baby so Carolyn told me to let her know at first signs of labour. The birthing pool was inflated and ready to go. That evening at about 11pm I started to feel some light inconsistent surges.

I tried to go to sleep but of course I couldn’t manage to rest wondering if it was time. I considered calling Carolyn but I wasn’t certain that they were real surges as opposed to Braxton hicks at that point and so listened to the GentleBirth app for a couple of hours and tried to calm my mind.

Around 2am I was starting to sit up and hold John's arms for each surge. I heard him saying as if to himself “I remember this, I’m calling the midwife” He rang Carolyn at about 3am and she was here by 3:20am. As she arrived Alison woke up. I really didn’t want her around for the birth but it also wasn’t the right time to start calling family to take her, so Carolyn and I stayed in my bedroom for a while chatting and talking through where I was at. John meanwhile watched a Peppa Pig with Alison and then miraculously convinced her to go back to bed before he set about filling the pool. I was back and forth between the bedroom and sitting room and still chatting happily between surges. At some point I noticed the surges were WAY stronger when John was by my side. I said this to Carolyn and she told me it was the oxytocin of being with someone I love… really sweet, but all I heard was that everything would move faster and smoother with John beside me! I didn’t let him out of my reach for the rest of the labor. 

I believe it was about 5:45am when things ramped up. I had a spontaneous urge to throw up and suddenly there was no chatting between surges. Shortly after that I got into the pool and felt immense relief there. I think there were about 5 or 8 surges in the actual pool before Emma was born, during each one I could feel her getting lower and lower. Alison had been born so fast in the pool that I was quite nervous at that point. I will never forget whining to John and Carolyn “this is taking much longer, am I slowing it down too much?”. I was breathing very calmly and I remember a sort of conflict between my mind and body, my body seemed to be urgently trying to move her out and my mind was trying to steady things - I got nervous and wasn’t sure if I was doing the right thing at that moment. However Carolyn replied perfectly and in such a reassuring manner “this is perfect, this is what we discuss, you wanted this remember? It’s slow and steady, all is going well”. That gave me more confidence in steading my breath and taking it nice and slow.

During each of those surges I went a little out of it into my own world, I could sense that my body was in control rather than me myself during the surges, but between surges I could come back and be present. With Alison I had felt totally absent in my own world during most of the labour so it was different and interesting to feel so there. 

I was on all fours again, the same position as I had been when Alison was born. John held my arms throughout. On about the 7th surge in the pool Emma’s head was born. I remember saying out loud “come on Emma, we can do this”. I also recall asking John ‘tell me I can do this please” but of course I was already doing it and he sort of laughed. During that break, when her head was born I actually got a bit of a fright as she turned around in preparation for the last surge - it felt so strange and of course Alison had been born in one go so I hadn’t experienced that middle world of your baby being partly born before. It didn’t last long though as then suddenly she was here. The 2nd midwife Niamh shouted for me to pick her up, but I was actually a bit dazed and so Carolyn kindly handed baby Emma to me. Within seconds of Emma arriving into the world Alison barreled through the sitting room door to investigate what was happening. I have no idea how long she was awake, if she was listening outside but she was very cute and wanted to see the new baby. She got first introductions to her little sister Emma who was crying loudly, looking pink, alert and well.

I think we were all curled up in bed within about 30 minutes and Emma was feeding well. Again I was slow to deliver the placenta but Carolyn gave me some silica and it was delivered in the bed shortly afterwards. Overall a very peaceful delivery and no transfer the second time round, I didn’t require any stitches afterwards. I really couldn’t have hoped for a better birth story and I am very grateful to Carolyn, Niamh, the GentleBirth app and of course John and Alison for making it such a special experience.