Cultivating courage when unexpected circumstances arise.

For most people labor happens as expected…surges begin and gradually become more powerful, full focus is demanded as your body expands and opens, you breathe, moan, sweat and sway and your baby is born.

If your birth preferences have to change unexpectedly a flexible mindset helps you to adapt to those unplanned and often unwanted changes. Some changes are minor and others can be can be stressful. Without the ability to refocus in the moment, panic can derail your calm state of mind and make attempting to salvage aspects of a positive birth experience more difficult. Your mindfulness practice will be essential in these circumstances in a way that hypnosis isn’t. This is why our meditation practice is just as important as choosing the right careprovider and place of birth.

Necessary or Unnecessary Changes?

How to tell the difference.

Before we get to the new resources in the GentleBirth App let’s go back a couple of steps first. Hopefully you’re not learning for the first time here that not all routine care options in hospitals are evidence based and medically necessary in a healthy progressing labor. We can’t avoid the reality that some suggested changes to birth preferences are more related to how your hospital manages labor and hospital resources than there being a medical need for the suggested changes.

The overuse of Pitocin is a well documented example of caregiver preference over physiology. If you’ve attended a GentleBirth class or have educated yourself through organizations such as Evidence Based Birth about other non medically indicated care options often suggested such as routine releasing of the waters, continuous electronic fetal monitoring, restriction of movement and positions.

Adapting to an unplanned change of preferences will be a bit easier to swallow if you feel confident that the changes are medically required. Ideally you’ll have discussed your preferences long before labor and you are confident that your careprovider won’t intervene without a compelling reason. The last thing any parent wants is to find out in labor is that you and your careprovider are not on the same page. It’s still likely that these changes can leave you with a feeling of loss and disappointment (and it is ok to grieve the birth you planned). But when you have no doubt that they were necessary and you stacked the deck in your odds as much as you can - you know you can walk away from this experience without any regrets and you’ll find the GentleBirth ‘Unexpected Changes’ play list more effective.

A very helpful tip to find out if what you’re being offered is for medical reasons or is just routine care for everyone is for your partner to ask two key questions.

Is my partner ok?

Is our baby ok?

In most healthy, normal labors the answer is usually - YES. This lets you know that in this moment there is no emergency and you don’t need to change your preferences. It’s a simple but easy way to get to the root of the intention of what’s being offered. In some cases you may find the response is - YES and is then followed by “but your baby might get tired” or some other possible scenario is presented. I’ll usually suggest that when you get that YES you reply with a smile and say how relieved you are that everyone is doing fine and you were just about to get in the shower…take a walk…etc.

If the answer is NO we are concerned about XYZ then there’s no need to debate - you chose this careprovider/hospital to give you that medical care in the event of an unexpected complication.

If you haven’t been to a GentleBirth class and all of the above is new to you then you’ll find BRAIN framework helpful. Ideally your partner can advocate for you so you can stay focused with your headphones on. Using this framework will help you understand the potential tradeoffs and benefits of changes to your labor preferences.

This framework will be more effective in helping you process new information if you can calm your brain first. It’s very difficult to process important information when stressed. Take a few deep breaths. Don’t forget that partners have their own playlist in the app so they have tools to reduce emotional stress and can advocate for you in a productive way. If there’s time ask to have a few moments alone to settle yourselves first.

Hopefully you will have that time to discuss all of your options so you can feel more informed about the changes that are being suggested and can adapt emotionally quickly. Our mantra of “control the controllables” will be a very helpful reminder for you.

Building Resiliency in Pregnancy

As you progress through the daily recommendations in the app the core practices bring a focus on resiliency and emotional regulation (learning how to NOT let everything fly out the window). Research suggests that the regular practice of mindfulness cultivates an attitude of acceptance, emotional regulation and is a buffer to stress and trauma. These are the traits we want to help you grow during your pregnancy so any changes don’t completely knock your confidence - and if they do, you can bounce back and refocus more quickly. I’m not saying acceptance is easy - it’s not. Acceptance is about opening to the feelings you have about the changes happening in your labor – the disappointment or grief – and being willing to let yourself feel those emotions fully.

“Letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but rather accepting the things that cannot be.” ~ Anonymous

Your daily practices in the GentleBirth app support you to adapt and accept unplanned changes with courage and confidence rather than reeling in panic and forgetting everything you learned.

How to Help Yourself Right Now

When the next steps of your birth journey have begun, and time permitting, you may find the ‘Unexpected Changes’ sessions useful throughout the rest of your labor or

Courage for Unexpected Changes in Labor Playlist

• Unexpected Changes (Affirmations for use in labor or before an unplanned cesarean).

• Unexpected Changes (Hypnobirthing for unexpected changes during labor).

• Acceptance Meditation

• Compassionate Being

• Fear Release

• Grounding Meditation

No Time For the App?

In rare cases a complication can arise quickly and there isn’t time to listen to the hypnobirthing session or affirmations. In the event this happens there’s still lots you can do to support yourself in those moments and soothe the stress response.

Focus on slow deliberate breathing such as the Relaxing Breath.

If breath work is challenging for you there are other ways to ground yourself such as taking all of your focus to one part of your body such as your feet (be curious about what’s happening in your feet right now…notice the temperature, does one feel more relaxed than the other…can you get a felt sense of your feet from the inside…notice the feeling of your feet connecting to the floor, the way they feel in your socks etc etc…intentional mindful focus reduces activity in the amygdala (home of the fight/flight response).

Regulating your breathing will reduce the fight/flight response and help you ground yourself so you can bring the important neocortex back online to focus on what’s important right now.

Intentionally chose to stay with your baby and use any helpful affirmations that have resonated with you during your pregnancy.

Wishing you a very positive birth and the courage and confidence to adapt to any unexpected changes.

Tracy