Every so often I’ll come across a discussion online about prenatal classes and the question of ‘do I really need them’? Any health care professional that works with expectant and postpartum parents reading the answers are shaking their heads to the responses of ‘don’t bother’. We know that what happens on this day has the potential to change your life - for better or for worse.

Here are some of the reasons given by other parents advising first time parents not to bother and what midwives, (most) obstetricians, antenatal teachers, nurses etc etc are most likely thinking.

“I didn’t do any classes and my birth went fine - they are the professionals”

You were lucky.

Start by defining what ‘fine’ means for you? What is ‘fine’ for one person can be the opposite for another mother. Is ‘fine’ a live baby but you’re recovering from a 4th degree perineal injury because you were pushing on your back for 3 hours and your OB/midwife cut an episiotomy. It turns out your OB does them routinely..but you never knew to ask this question or to put it in your birth preferences because you decided to wing it and ‘uninformed’ was your birth plan. As a mother of two, I would agree to having my legs cut off in labor if it meant getting my baby out safely - no argument there. But if I found out later that having my legs removed was unnecessary or could have been avoided if I made different decisions? Well I might feel very differently about how I define ‘fine’. Or worse still if my baby was injured and when I debriefed my experience with an independent midwife I find out that it didn’t have to be that way - there were options nobody told me about and I didn’t seek them out. As so many birth professionals will agree - sometimes ignorance is not bliss - it’s birth trauma.

Here’s how staff feel when you’ve made the effort to learn about labor and birth.

“Don’t worry about having a birth plan the midwives will tell you what to do”

You were lucky.

Seriously - do you want your midwife guessing what’s important to you? Nurses and midwives are human and have limits like everyone else. They are not exactly thrilled when a laboring mom comes in and says “I was too busy to get to the classes - what do you think I should do?”. If you’re very lucky you’ll get an amazing midwife/nurse on the day who has the time (only one mother to take care of) and energy (9am on the day shift) to go through all the pros/cons of the many many options available to you - fantastic. But it’s probably not the optimal learning experience when you’re stopping every 3 minutes to have a contraction.

At 4am with another mom to take care of because the unit is short staffed she may be thinking ‘you had 9 months to prepare - wasn’t it important enough for you to at least learn some breathing?’ Of course there are exceptions to every rule and there are some staff would prefer women NOT take classes or ask questions and just go with the flow (the hospital’s flow…).

“I did’t care what they did my birth plan was just to get the baby out safely”

You were lucky.

You do know it’s possible to have a positive birth AND a healthy baby? It may be helpful to know that a number of routine care options suggested during labor can cause harm to you and your baby. It might be helpful to know that you have options so you can make the best decisions for you and your baby. However this is a tricky one because most hospital classes won’t tell you that you HAVE options or will gloss over the risks of some of these ‘offerings’ may potentially have for you and your baby.

It’s possibly the biggest day of your life and your baby’s. How much preparation did you put into planning and preparing for your wedding? How much time did you put into researching your new car…planning a birth day party?

You might be reading this and thinking - “I did the classes, and the breathing and read a million books and I still ended up having a c-section….” Yes this is of course possible, birth can be unpredictable. But you can come away from the experience accepting that there’s only so much we can control. You can come away from the experience knowing you did everything you could to prepare for the best birth possible - you stacked the odds in your favor for you and your baby. Or you didn’t.

My advice?

Even if you decide not to take a class (online or in person once Covid has passed). Take some time to learn about your options, ask questions and definitely write some birth preferences so your midwife can support you to have the best birth possible and not have to guess what’s important to you.

Don’t rely on luck - do what you can to stack the odds in your favor.

Start with my free book, read a bit more of my blog and if you feel inspired to take things a little further check out some GentleBirth live/virtual classes or online self paced class here.

I’m here to answer any questions you have.

Tracy