Making Friends with Fear
Fear can seem like a constant companion in pregnancy...it feels like it’s lurking around every corner and even more so these days.
It won’t be surprising to know that generally we don't make good decisions when we’re in a state of fear, stress or crisis. Learning how to pause when emotions are getting away from us and notice what's happening means we can ground ourselves in stressful moments. This lets you respond in ways that will support your vision of a positive birth and your breastfeeding goals and you stop getting yanked around by those big emotions.
Your Doctor mentions you baby seems to be a little on the larger size - Pause
Your nurse makes a comment about the size of your bump - Pause
You tell a friend who gave birth a month ago that you’re planning an unmedicated birth and she laughs - Pause
Being able to see clearly is so important during this time. You have some big decisions to make. When you pause and take a breath you have more clarity around your intentions...what is driving your decisions...for birth....parenting? It’s hard to see clearly when we’re afraid, stressed or angry. Taking a few slow deep breaths helps get the ‘thinking brain’ back online so you have some headspace to think clearly. Throughout your pregnancy being able to sit with fear often helps loosen it’s grip on us.
Close your eyes for a few minutes...take a few breaths...notice where that feeling of fear shows up in our body, ask it what it needs? Wait for the answer....there may be many responses that come to mind.
In other hypnobirthing programs fear is portrayed as an enemy, something we have to fight against. And yes there’s a lot of scary information out there. Fear changes our physiology (it reduces oxytocin and increases energy use so you have less stamina) yet resisting fear also creates tension in the body and mind. A mindful, curious approach softens the edges of anxiety and can allow fearful thoughts to pass by, you’re learning not to take the bait and step back to see those thoughts for what they are - passing mental events that don’t require any engagement from you. Now you can explore those decisions from a centered calm place with intention and appreciation (after all your brain is just trying to help you in it’s own unique way).
Having an approach of befriending fear rather than pushing it away or distracting ourselves from it helps us to determine if decisions we have to make are being guided from our intuition - or our fears. When you sit with it, fear feels very different in the body compared to our gut feeling, or ‘knowing’. Try this as an experiment the next time you feel afraid.
The new session in the GentleBirth app ‘Confident Pregnancy’ will help you connect with that inner voice - the voice that we can’t hear when our fears are ringing in our ears. It’s one of my favorite sessions for pregnancy.
Try the GentleBirth App today and make friends with your fears today.
Tracy