10 Common Mistakes Hypnobirthing Parents Make
The GentleBirth approach is about stacking the odds in your favor of having a positive birth (as you define it) Given the year it’s been not everyone has an opportunity to take an in person class so here’s some of the most common mistakes I’ve encountered in 15 years of teaching the GentleBirth hypnobirthing approach.
Not Practicing Your Hypnobirthing & Mindfulness Daily
You can’t learn this stuff by osmosis or by just reading about it. Frequent practice and repetition is essential and honestly it can’t be any easier. You can do your affirmations before getting out of bed, your 10 minute meditation at lunchtime and your long hypnobirthing practice going to bed (mix it up at the weekends). There’s no special outfits required or a gym to go to…you’re literally lying on the couch doing nothing but relaxing (except for your mindfulness meditation). Ironically when I check in with clients about their practice sessions sometimes it’s because they’ve had a lot going on…moving house…dealing with a stressful job - HELLO !!! - these are exactly the reasons to increase your practice - stress doesn’t just impact you, you’re the architecture of your baby’s brain. Being heavily pregnant and moving house could be a lot less stressful if you used the resources you have in the palm of your hand - your GentleBirth App. How do you know if you’re getting enough practice in? Read more here. Practicing your breathing in bed at night is easy - put your practice to good use in daily life and watch your confidence grow.
Only Practicing In a ‘Perfect’ Quiet Environment
Mix up their practice sessions - not the content (the app recommends what’s relevant for your due date) but the location of where you practice. We want to be able to access that relaxed, focused state anytime in any place. So take your headphones and go sit in a Mall foodcourt and do a practice session. Only practicing in bed at 10pm in clean sheets can create a conditioned response that you can ONLY get that relaxed with those conditions. Mix it up a little! Practice on the train, use your GentleBirth Driving playlist during your commute.
Not Resting in Early Labor
It’s so important to manage energy levels (physical & emotional) in early labor. Your active birth class may have told you to start Olympic level stair climbing to use gravity and bring labor on but all that will do is exhaust you before active labor even starts. If at all possible stay in bed or lying down resting until your body and baby demand that you start mobilizing.
Expecting No Pain
Pain is subjective and there are many factors that influence how your brain perceives the stretching/pressure stimulus from the uterus. (Pain is an opinion of the brain and an output of the brain - not the uterus). Yes some people will describe their labor as ‘intense’, ‘powerful’ ‘lots of pressure’ but pain is not unusual and is a normal response to labor. Learn more about the science of pain and additional resources to modulate labor pain.
Assuming Your Hospital will Facilitate Your Birth Preferences
If you’re planning a low intervention birth, written birth preferences and a discussion with your careprovider long before labor is essential. You do not want to be finding out in labor that you’re not on the same page. Don’t assume routine care in labor evidence based - most isn’t (especially if you’re going to a US hospital).
Here’s a few questions to get you started.
Ask about your careprovider’s rate of induction/cesarean is for healthy well full term people.
How do they feel about induction of labor? When would they suggest it?
How do they feel about giving birth in the position of your choice?
Do they practice a 1 or 2 step birth (sooo important if you’re in the USA).
How will they protect your pelvic floor and reduce your chances of tearing?
Relying on One Tool in Your Toolkit to Prepare
Don’t rely only on hypnosis. Mindfulness is the ability to change your brain chemistry intentionally. Why wouldn’t you want to have THIS superpower! Add it to your hypnobirthing practice to reduce pain perception significantly (oh and it’s a GAMECHANGER for postpartum). Fill your toolkit with lots of mental and physical strategies - you don’t know what will work best for you on the day.
Telling Everyone You’re Having an Unmedicated Birth
Big mistake - there’s no quicker way to lose mom friends in pregnancy than by smugly declaring to the world that you’re having a ‘natural’ birth. If your best friend had an epidural by default you’re saying she had an ‘unnatural’ birth. So although you’re probably feeling so empowered and ready to walk into that hospital, squat and birth like a warrior keep your opinions about meds to a very select audience. Be open to changes and keep every tool on the table. Talking to everyone about your plans for no epidural also puts unnecessary pressure on you to have a certain kind of birth and you’ll waste precious time and energy defending your choices for months…
Not Getting Your Partner as Clued in As You Are
Your job in labor is to get in the zone and stay there. Your partner’s role is everything else. Having someone with you who can competently facilitate your preferences, the environment, staff etc is priceless. If an unmedicated birth is what you’re aiming for uninterrupted FOCUS is key. Are you confident in their understanding of physical comfort measures and how to use them? Is the double hip squeeze a comfort measure your partner is familiar with? If you’re considering an epidural are they au fait with these epidural birth preferences? Can they do all of this in a friendly confident way? Can they adopt a curious attitude to labor care options instead of confrontational?
Not Using Your Mp3s in Labor
Yes sometimes labor can be so fast that you can barely take a breath never mind focus on operating your phone but for most parents you have ample time to use your Mp3s. There’s a good reason for using sessions such as your Birth Rehearsal and Affirmations - you’ve conditioned yourself to relax quite quickly using them regularly throughout your pregnancy. Your brain associates them with feeling safe and feeling safe = more oxytocin and less adrenaline. So even if you’re feeling chilled at home in early labor just put them on in the background and when the surges become more demanding of your focus get your headphones on and get in the zone. As you’ll see in most GentleBirth birth stories parents use the Labor Companion on repeat. This special session isn’t a practice session and was created for the most intense parts of labor (It’s known as Midwifery Mutterings (Leap 2010) - quiet, supportive words of encouragement when you need to hear them the most).
Forgetting to Apply the Tools After Baby Arrives
Of course you won’t have many (any?) long interrupted leisurely naps on the couch with your hypnobirthing materials but when you change your profile in the GentleBirth App to one of our postpartum journeys you’ll find lots of bite sized content you can use WITH your baby. You can still use your postpartum recovery hypno sessions to help you rest but the short mindfulness sessions can be done while feeding, resting or bathing your baby. Weaving these practices into postpartum will support your mental health and help reduce anxiety and stress while also facilitating bonding with your baby especially this year.
How did you do? Are there any changes you can make to stack those odds even more in your favor?
Is there anything else you’d add?
Tracy