Why Mindfulness is So Important for New Parents
New research suggests that mindfulness based compassion practiced during pregnancy may reduce a mom’s risk of developing postpartum depression significantly - this is BIG! I asked my Instructors why they felt mindfulness was so important in the post partum period (many of our Instructors used GentleBirth themselves in their own pregnancies).
Here’s what they have to say.
“The postpartum period is usually over whelming. Especially as your learning to be a parent or even if you have other kids and of course the pecking order has been disrupted. A lot of stress for Mom and Dad. Maybe Mom has a postpartum mood disorder or a difficult birth or a cesarean. Maybe they have a difficult baby or a baby with problems. Even if everything is perfect it is usually an exhausting trying time. Mindfulness helps keep everything in perspective and helps keep exhausted parents from over reacting!”
Janice
“SO MANY REASONS! When you are learning a new skill such as parenting and breastfeeding, it's normal to get frustrated and add to this the physical demands of a newborn and you are learning a new skill while depleted from pregnancy and exhausted from not sleeping. It's just a recipe for bringing out our worst selves and most negative thoughts. Mindfulness can help us learn to be more accepting and less judgmental of whatever comes your way in parenting. If you can pause your negative thoughts and notice what's happening, you will be able to have more self-compassion and compassion for your baby or spouse. In addition, adults are used to having some level of agency and control in our lives, but we don't really have control over this new person that we've brought into the world. If we are able to relinquish control and just be present in the moment, we can reduce negative feelings when things don't go the way we want them to. You want to flow like the mighty strong in our path, but willing to detour if necessary. Mindfulness (and 2nd babies, lol) also gives us a moment to find perspective. This is a phase or a moment, not the rest of our lives”
Sarah
“In the postpartum period, mindfulness can be a useful tool to calm the mind and body, to clear the mental fog to be able to accurately see the facts of a given moment or situation, to remember that all experiences are temporary, that "this, too, shall pass". Mindfulness can help parents simply ride the waves of life with a newborn in the GentleBirth way they (especially mother, of course) rode the waves of labour surges. It can help them stay connected to one another and their baby as it helps them not spin off emotionally from the thoughts and stories their brains may tell them. It can help them have compassion and empathy for one another and their baby, as they stay connected, since we cannot have true compassion or empathy without connection. It can open them up and be better able to accept, trust, be patient, and be grateful”
Tanya
“Mindfulness is such a useful tool for parents in the postpartum period because it helps them put things into perspective. A mothers hormones are changing and if certain emotions are not addressed some woman and their parents can fall into postpartum depression. On top of that, parenting can be stressful and when we find ourselves doing tasks repetitively, like nappy changing, we tend to zone out and let our minds wander. A wandering mind is an unhappy one and we must practice staying in the present as much as possible. Instead of zoning out or thinking about how many nappy changes you've already done today.. you can notice these thoughts and feelings and change them into a more positive one; like how with each nappy change you get to spend important bonding time with your baby. Mindfulness can help us lead a life with our baby's that includes a lot less stress and lot more happiness and gratitude”
Elisia
“The postpartum period can be a time of enormous stress and anxiety. Parents are learning new things every day and having to constantly make decisions about the care of their baby. It can often be overwhelming for parents especially as they are often receiving conflicting advice from various parties. Mindfulness can help parents to focus and make decisions rationally. The mother is also experiencing hormonal changes which affect her mood. Mindfulness can help bring parents back to focus on what is happening right now with their baby. It can help them observe their emotions without judging themselves because they are not feeling happy all the time. Being mindful with the baby when feeding or changing can help parents bond better with their baby. Being open and curious about their baby and their baby's reactions and emotions can help them understand their baby better. Mindfulness can prevent a lot of distress in parents by moving them away from unhelpful thoughts about how things "should be" and allowing them to accept the reality of what is”
Emma
“It helps parents be more present with their baby - Helps parents turn off autopilot - Helps parents have more self compassion when things are challenging - Helps parents keep calm and reduces stress and stops knee jerk reactions.”
Aisling
“Mindfulness is such a useful tool for parents postpartum because it allows them to focus on what is really important and stay in the present moment. Not worrying about how much sleep they have missed or how much they will get tonight. The take each task as it comes and intentionally focuses on what they are doing. This stops the 'shoulds' coming into the mind, like my baby should be sleeping better, I should be happy all the time”
Anne
“It helps parents to refocus their attention and opens them up again to seeing the 'bigger picture'. Mindfulness helps parents to be aware of the present moment and feel open to it without judgement. This in turn equips parents to make decisions from a heart felt place instead of a place of panic, distraction or worry”
Ashley
“The postpartum period can be an emotional roller coaster as hormones re-balance and parents grapple with sleep deprivation and the processing of their birth experience. Mindfulness can bring respite and relief by bringing them back to the present moment, connecting with themselves and the baby”
Dawn
Mindfulness can help parents navigate the sometimes stormy seas of the postpartum months.
“Mindfulness is an amazing tool in the postpartum period as parents are so much more aware of their thoughts, and why they are occurring. Not just moms but also dads can experience depression after a baby is born. Having trained their brains with mindfulness during pregnancy, parents are better able to decipher irrational or intrusive thoughts by "lefty" and they know that the right side of their brain can override it and advise lefty to quiet down, thoughts are not facts. It can also help their relationship while sleep deprivation is at its peak. Taking time for themselves, alone and together. They will be much more capable of stopping, thinking and recharging.”
Stacey