How Do I Know If I'm Practicing Enough?
Am I doing enough?
How do I fit in my GentleBirth daily practices?
These are questions I hear from parents every now and then and the thoughts have probably crossed your mind too. (First of all change the words fit in to ‘build in’.
Will it all really come together on the day?
Let’s not wait until labor to find out.
Your Brain is Plastic
There’s a saying in brain science - “What fires together wires together” essentially that means the more frequently an activity occurs in the brain the quicker those neurons connect and pass signals to each other. That activity can be real or imagined. This bears repeating - the activity can be real or imagined.
That means the more frequently you are exposed to positive images and emotions about birth the more quickly this wiring happens. It’s the ‘feeling’ piece that’s so important.
During pregnancy your brain is influenced by pregnancy hormones (something you’re no doubt well aware of). Evolution designed it that way so your brain changes to prepare you to fall in love with your baby and protect him, so the human race continues. You have a 9 month window of increased plasticity of your brain (plasticity is the ability to change). Why not take advantage of this time to work that mental muscle in a way that not only supports your own mental health but also the development of your baby’s brain.
Not only do YOU get the benefit of those feel good hormones throughout your pregnancy but so does your baby!
Beliefs About Birth
A belief is a habit of thought and those habits of thought are easily identified by becoming more aware of them (notice how you’re feeling when you think about birth). Those habits of thought about birth make specific neural pathways in the brain. The more you think those stressful or positive thoughts the bigger those pathways grow…until they become like freeways. Automatic thoughts happen so easily - there’s no effort required as that wiring is well established. If you’ve been practicing your hypnobirthing and meditation regularly your automatic thoughts probably look very different to the way they did before you started. Intentionally thinking about labor and birth in a positive way takes more work initially (the emotions are more important than the details).
Vividly imagining positive imagery and feelings throughout your pregnancy doesn’t mean we’re not aware of the fact that birth can be unpredictable, that sometimes things can come out of left field unexpectedly. But you are intentionally expanding the time you spend imagining things going right - and intentionally reducing the time you spend imagining things going ‘wrong’. This is what we call ‘intelligent optimism’ not naivety. No matter how your baby arrives you will never regret giving your baby the gift of a calmer, happier pregnancy. You are the architect of your baby’s brain. Why not intentionally expose your baby to a pregnancy of endorphins, calm and oxytocin whenever possible?
So depending on the consistency of your daily practice and what your ‘baseline’ of positive birth fitness was to begin with (this is what’s happening below). When I talk about baseline of positive birth fitness what I mean is there will be parents in my classes who have never heard that birth can be anything other than difficult, long and possibly traumatic - they grew up hearing nothing but negative birth stories from parents, relatives and eventually peers and social media. Sometimes I’ll meet parents who have the opposite foundation of beliefs - they grew up hearing that birth can be amazing, life affirming (hard work) but wonderful. Hopefully you find yourself somewhere in the middle which means you still have work to do but probably not as much as some other parents.
Stop here for a minute and consider how your beliefs about birth were established.
Back to the main question of this article. How do you know if you’re practicing enough?
When you imagine yourself in labor. What does an amazing birth look like for you? If you could write your birth story as if it’s already happened - what did that look like? How did you feel? What did you hear? See? Touch? If you automatically feel excited and imagined yourself being well supported, focused and calm then you’re definitely on the right track.
But if it takes some time for your brain to recall positive birth images/feelings then it’s quite likely that those positive birth neurons haven’t wired yet and you may need to increase your practice - at a minimum intentionally imagining yourself in labor feeling empowered, safe and focused. (Elite athletes use the same strategies when preparing for a big event).
Thats why just reading about positive births or taking a generic birth prep class for most people isn’t enough - you have to ‘experience it’ and you do that by rewiring your brain through repetition and what you do between practice sessions.
Are you starting to feel less anxious about labor and more positive? Great! You’re on the right track. Keep up the practice.
If this question has left you in a cold sweat is there a way to level up your practice if you only have a short time left?
Yes - what you’re doing between practice sessions is important too - even more so if you’re short on time.
Are you unintentionally sabotaging your birth prep by continuing to watch scary births on social media? Are you still allowing strangers on social media, work colleagues and family to rent space in your head with their difficult birth stories?
Today make a decision to refocus - today make a decision to choose intelligent optimism.
The GentleBirth app makes it easy to practice as it’s tied to your due date but if you haven’t been retraining your brain with audio content make it your mission over the coming weeks to do whatever you can to start feeling a little better each day about your upcoming birth.
This means setting aside some time to intentionally think about your baby’s birth in a positive way. It doesn’t matter what that looks like - as long as when you imagine it there is a feeling of excitement or ‘rightness’ about it. So that will look very different depending on what’s meaningful for you.
Intentional mental activity wires neurons together. The more you can experience the feelings of a positive birth in your imagination the faster those pathways grow and the negative birth ‘real estate’ in your brain starts to shrink as there’s limited neural activity. The less you activate the fight/flight center during pregnancy the smaller your amygdala gets (one of the core structures in the brain associated with fear).
How Do I Fit it All In? (You Don’t - You Build It In)
Depending on when you’re starting will determine what your daily practice recommendations look like. Earlier in pregnancy you’ll see your practice sessions is fairly ‘light’ and as you progress through your pregnancy more techniques are added so it’s a gradual increase.
It can feel a little overwhelming if you are starting later in pregnancy and see 5 practice sessions for today and wondering how you can possibly fit it all in. First of all tweak your mindset a little so that it’s not about ‘fitting’ it in - that never works - you need to build it into your day. Here’s how to weave your practice into the busiest days without increasing your stress (ironically you’re doing more but reducing your stress).
Before you get out of bed listen to your affirmations - yes it might mean waking up 10 minutes earlier but it’ll set the tone for the day so no matter how your morning goes you’ll feel more grounded and balanced. Try the ‘Good Morning Affirmations’ - it’ll set you up for a great morning.
Practice a breathing technique throughout your day - set a reminder in your phone so you can pause and breathe (you don’t even need to use the app each time). You’re building in stress reduction throughout your day and catching any negative emotional momentum early on. A couple of women I’ve worked with have made a point of going to their car and doing a short meditation or using the Mindful Movement practice for a short walk at lunchtime.
Try your short meditation before dinner - use these few minutes to leave the day behind and regroup and eat your meal mindfully.
Save your hypnobirthing practices for bedtime (use it for naps too at the weekend). The last hypnobirthing session is often followed by music so nothing to do now but snooze!
So as you can see by getting creative you can easily build in your daily birth prep. We’ve consistently found that the more practice moms put in the more likely they are to have a positive birth. The app is your brain ‘gym’ but a LOT easier!
Your mindset matters - even if you added up all of the practice and had to do them in one go - it’s about an hour of preparation. Lots of people will spend an hour on social media….or an hour watching TV…is an hour really that much to commit to for the biggest day of your life? Only you know what you want your birth to look like and what you’re willing to do to stack the odds in your favor. Only you can decide what will take priority today. In 16 years of teaching this approach the most common complaint I hear is not that it takes up time but that moms wish they’d found the GentleBirth app so much earlier in their pregnancy so they could enjoy their pregnancy more by changing the way they manage stress for the rest of their lives.
So in a nutshell - if you can think about labor and feel excited about it for the most part fantastic! And it only gets better! Keep up the practice and enjoy basking in those feelings.
If it doesn’t feel so good - practice, practice, practice and if you think you’re doing all the right things DM me or your GentleBirth Instructor and let’s do an informal positive birth ‘audit’ and let’s see how we can help get you on track.
Start where ever you are and start mentally rehearsing the kind of birth you DO want - several times a day and wire your brain to enjoy the next few weeks of your pregnancy no matter how your baby arrives.
Here’s some tips on how you can keep that momentum going between your formal practice sessions.
Have you tried using a vision board to help you visualize the big day?
How is your mental & emotional practice going?
Is the concept of intelligent optimism new to you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Tracy