2500 Diapers to Change and Opportunities to Connect with Your Baby
It’s estimated that the average baby will need to be changed about 2500 times during the first year. I hate to break it to you but there’s literally a s&it load of diapers in your future. For newborns that works out at about 6+ per day.
So if you and your partner play diaper roulette and it’s now your turn it’s really easy to fall into the habit of racing through the physical steps of a diaper change without being present. This can be really hard at the end of the day when you’re exhausted and have been home with your baby all day. So please try this as an experiment and see how it feels. Slow down a little and take a moment to connect with your baby. (Once your baby starts solids you might find it a little more challenging to slow down). As you whisk your baby away to the changing table talk to your baby and tell him what you’re doing. As you lay him down ask him if it’s ok for you to change him. (I know this might sound weird but it’s about intention and respect rather than expecting your baby to debate the merits of a clean diaper).
Make eye contact with your baby and talk to him about what you’re doing and notice the urge in yourself to move more quickly. Try acting as if everything is happening in slow motion. (Of course if there’s a poo explosion or your little boy starts peeing all over himself then speed is of the essence).
We live in such a state of rushing to get things checked off a never ending list that we have to really pay attention intentionally otherwise autopilot kicks in and your mind will have wandered off to thinking about dinner or a credit card bill and you’ve just missed a moment to be present with your baby and get out of your own busy head. This is a great way to continue with your mindfulness practice once or twice a day - don’t worry I’m not suggesting you do this during the 3am change (unless of course you want to).
Try the approach in this image rather than the traditional diaper changing maneuvers you might have learned.
Image from www.babycues.info (check out their website for more great content)
Your baby’s brain is growing at lightning speed and is very tuned into your facial expressions but without any context. You mind is just elsewhere. Babies are wired for connection. If you’re having a particularly tough day give yourself this time to breathe deeply, try to see it as a positive ‘time out’ from everything else happening in the house that is demanding your attention.
Try to see these moments as an opportunity to connect with your baby and your body (drop your shoulders ). You have 2500 opportunities for mindful or mundane connection with your baby ahead of you and somedays you’ll find it easier than others.
There is a kind generous attitude that comes with a mindful approach to parenting. We all make mistakes, none of us get it right, we do the best we can, but we know with certainty that we can begin again in the next moment.
Note:
The following video and other ‘still face experiment’ videos can be upsetting. Science is teaching us so much about infant mental health and how we can best care for our little ones.
When we know better we do better - be kind to yourself.
Tracy