What to Expect When You Meditate - It's Very Different to Hypnobirthing
So you’re planning a positive birth and have started your hypnobirthing practice but your mind refuses to turn off! It’s like as soon as you close your eyes an inner rave kicks off and your mind is busier than ever before…and the more you try to focus on the audio the harder it gets. If you’re practicing hypnobirthing you don’t have to do anything other than let that rave happen.
Does that seem different to what you’ve heard about hypnobirthing? It’s probably because you’ve gotten meditation and hypnobirthing confused. They are both very different practices but the words are often used interchangeably in many hypnobirthing approaches and it causes a LOT of confusion. With your hypno practice you let your mind wander off…(it doesn’t need much encouragement)…seconds later you’re checking off your grocery list…as the conscious mind wanders off the suggestions for confidence are more likely to be accepted now that the doorman (bouncer) to your subconscious is distracted with your Tesco shopping list.
Meditation is a completely different practice and trains different parts of your brain for birth - combining both practices reduces pain perception even more significantly than just hypnobirthing alone. Mediation is trickier as the intention is to stay focused and alert - and as your mind wanders you notice it and kindly return your focus to whatever anchor you’re working with (GentleBirth App, breathing, sensations in the body…). You’ll do this over and over again. You’re training the muscle of focus and physically changing the structure of your brain.
You actually have to ‘work’ a little when practicing meditation that’s why we call it a fitness program for the mind. With hypnosis the only work we do is to press play and drift off.
True story.
In the early hours of this morning as I was waking up I made the mistake of checking my phone and scrolling. You probably did too. A few minutes of mindless scrolling turned into 30 minutes. Eventually I dragged myself away from Twitter and FB reminding myself that it was a brain chemical called dopamine (part of the reward circuitry in the brain) that was making it so hard to stop.
I ignored the impulse to keep scrolling and found my regular meditation session - pressed play and here’s what happened.
Brain: There’s not a hope in hell that we’re calming down now to meditate. Did you SEE what’s happening in the news?
Me: Follow the feeling of the breath…in…..and….out…..
Brain: Nope! All systems are GO. You should get a headstart on your emails. Don’t forget to find that research. You’ve a client meeting on Sunday to prep for and a session with the new doulas. Don’t forget that Borat movie is out.
Me: AND….back to the breath….in…..out…in…
Brain: There’s no milk for the breakfast, kids will have to have eggs ..….are you going to go run this morning? What about that woman who was harassed by that weirdo last week. Maybe you should wait until it’s bright…but then it’ll be too hot….just take the day off and get back to it tomorrow.
Me: Noticing how wired my brain is (and I’ve had no coffee yet). I go back to the breath and do a mini body scan where I notice that my butt cheeks are clenched - not sure that that’s all about….I intentionally relax my behind and scan my body for other areas that I’m tensing up…
Brain: Jeez what’s that ass clenching about? You are SOOO uptight this morning…what’s the point of meditating right now when you’re like this.
Me: Not engaging with the chatter…..just going back to the breath…noticing a little humour in this inner conversation about my behind. (Which coincidentally is clenched AGAIN!).
Brain: dsfakajf alksdjf akldsjkasjdfkaljd ass laksdjflkafja alksdf jalskdj? lkadfj lakjfdkajfkfaj lkajsf lkasjd…
Me: Gently bringing my awareness back to my breath and directing it to areas I’m noticing tension.
The bell rings to end my meditation.
15 minutes have passed.
What Just Happened? Where’s My Zen?
If you have have days like this when even a 5 minute meditation feels futile you’re not alone. Meditation isn’t a relaxation technique (that’s where a lot of people get confused) it’s about learning how to focus and noticing without any judgment what’s going on behind the scenes automatically in our mind when we’re not looking - (about 50% of our waking hours).
If you could see inside my brain you’d see each time my brain grabbed the microphone (my amygdala aka stress response) lights up. As soon as I noticed my focus had been hijacked I would go back to my breath and listening to my meditation and a part of the brain called the Insula and PFC ( rational thinking part of the brain) would come back on line. A minute later the amygdala hogged the spotlight again (notice how it generally hijacks your mind with negative stuff…) if my mind was was mentally taking me off to a tropical beach I might not be so quick to turn that spotlight back to my meditation. Ruby Wax a comedian turned psychotherapist and mindfulness expert describes that chatter as being like a radio being on in another room. An item on the news or piece of music momentarily catches your attention and then you realize you can let it play in the background while you focus on your breathing…body sensations, sounds etc.
In a nutshell:
It’s probably not a good idea to stress scroll before you meditate - it takes longer for your nervous system to settle. You can always postpone your mediation until later in the day but remember just like physical training there will be days when you just don’t want to go to the gym - try to stick with it anyway.
Be kind and curious when your mind wanders - If you beat yourself up every time your mind wanders it’ll just keep that stress response going that’s why having a kind mind towards your practice is so important.
Notice where your mind goes to. Does your mind have a favorite ‘playlist’?
When you’re listening to your hypnobirthing sessions in the GentleBirth App it’s perfectly FINE to let your mind wander off and drift into hypnotic rest - hypnosis is not meditation.
How is your meditation practice going?