What You Do Outside of Your Daily Hypnobirthing Practice Matters
You’ve just finished up a dreamy hypnobirthing session - you’re feeling deeply relaxed and content (you might even have drifted off to sleep). All is right with the world.
You’re starting to feel more excited about your upcoming labor and less stressed. Then someone on Facebook posts a birth story that leaves you feeling anxious and your spiral into a rabbit hole of ‘what ifs’.
It’s easy to stay in that bubble of positivity when you’re in our Hypnobirthing Facebook group, during your GentleBirth class or at home doing your practice with the GentleBirth App but most parents are also working full time, taking care of children or sick parents - living in the real world and all the daily interactions that happen outside of that positive bubble of your practice time.
Is a 30 minute daily hypnobirthing relaxation enough to prepare you for a chilled out pregnancy and the best birth possible? For some - yes, you’ll do great. Just like some people are born great singers and some people like me can’t carry a tune to save my life. Some parents find that 30 minutes of practice carries over into the daily grind easily. But given that our tricky brain has have evolved to focus on the negative and can be trigger happy adrenaline pushers several times a day learning how to tame your brain when you’re not in your bubble makes sense.
If you find that your brain is tripping you up several times a day even with your daily practice then it may be time to up your game. You’re not doing anything wrong and it’s not your fault it’s just that our brain, genetics and culture can sometimes make getting to that positive mindset more challenging. Many parents will find additional ‘daytime’ strategies can be very helpful to enjoy your pregnancy a lot more. Your brain is extra ‘plastic’ in pregnancy so instead of letting this 3lb organ in your head constantly interrupt your pregnancy bliss you’re going to train it for a better birth (and life AFTER birth). Just like going to the gym helps condition your muscles - what you do between your hypnobirthing sessions intentionally trains another equally important positive birth muscle - your mind.
Listening to your hypnobirthing sessions during pregnancy help you get deep restorative rest but there's also the daily 'intentional action’ part of a positive birth approach that happens outside of those sessions and are just as important. If you’re planning an unmedicated birth then these tips will be even helpful.
When you think of it your hypnobirthing practice takes about 30 minutes out of your day and there’s really nothing for you to do but drift off. If you sleep 8 hours then you still have another 15.5 hours of ‘awake’ time to implement simple strategies that crowd out stress and increase your feelings of calm and contentment if you find yourself hijacked by stressful thoughts. Don’t worry I’m not suggesting you spend every minute of every day focused on birth prep but the following suggestions are simple to ways to weave a positive mindset into your life - it’s remembering to do them that’s the most challenging. What you’ll notice is that almost all of these extra ‘practices’ are simply about noticing what your mind is doing throughout the day and adjusting your focus accordingly.
What you feed your mind daily just as important as what you feed your body. Be intentional about where you direct your focus during the day. Find a community that shares inspiration, support and positive birth stories. A simple rule of thumb we use in GentleBirth when you're about to read a birth story or listen to someone else’s....(or watch birth shows on TV). We call it the 'golden rule' - "is what I'm about to watch, listen to or read right now going to make me more excited or more anxious about my baby's birth'“. Your gut feeling will tell you very quickly and you can turn your focus to something that feels good. Always choose the better feeling thought.
When you’re in the car use that time to listen to the special GentleBirth driving sessions - Pregnancy Celebration and Mindful Driving are a great way to fit in some quick practice time while you drive.
Practice slow focused breathing regularly. Do it while you’re driving, while you’re standing in the supermarket, before you log on to your email first thing each day. Get into the habit of taking 3 deep mindful breaths before you check your phone (that’ll give you multiple opportunities of practice built into every day).
Practice intentionally activating positive emotions so it comes easily to you. Being able to switch to those emotions creates coherence in your physiology (all your systems are working in synch). Try it the next time you find yourself standing in a long supermarket line. Imagine how useful it will be to activate emotions associated with stamina, accomplishment, grit and joy when you’re at 6cm and thinking about an epidural (if having an unmedicated birth is important to you). For specific instructions learn about birth basking.
Mindfulness practices - engage your muscle of mental focus regularly (especially if you're planning an unmedicated birth). Take a mindful shower....wash your hands mindfully....simply slow down and pay attention to what you're doing...the smell of the soap..the feeling of the water...the temperature... your mind will wander a million times - so just acknowledge it and return to the activity.
Your mindfulness practice will also help you notice patterns of thoughts that are adding to your stress. I’m sure you have your own Top 10 favorites in your mental playlist that goes through your mind frequently about labor.
How do see yourself in labor? When you think about your baby’s birth do you see someone strong, focused and feeling empowered? If not we need to change that record. So many people spend their pregnancy mentally rehearsing the kind of birth they DON’T want! Your brain is a predictive machine and tries to anticipate the future - so if you’re ‘programming’ it for feeling distressed, not coping and stressed your brain thinks that’s what is normal and to be expected. Notice the ‘what ifs’ as they come up - and try to replace them with ‘what ifs’ that feel empowering such as ‘what if I cope really well’….’what if I surprise myself’…’what if I’m stronger than I think’.
Notice your self-talk - it's hard to have a kind mind towards ourselves when your self talk is critical...especially around how our body changes in pregnancy and postpartum.
Write some positive affirmations especially around common worries such as baby's size...something like 'my baby is the perfect size for my body' can counter that belief very quickly even though it can feel a bit strange saying it.
Create a vision board of images that make you feel excited!
No matter what kind of birth you’re planning all of these daily strategies will be even more helpful as a brand new parent when hormones are in free fall and stressful thoughts are the norm as you find your feet.
These are some tips for starters and there's more information in my books about how you can train your brain for a positive birth (as you define it). The GentleBirth book is free in the app (you can download it during the free trial) and it'll just add to your mental prep for the big day. Understanding how the brain works is the first step to brain training for birth.
GentleBirth Book - Brain Training for a Positive Birth and Mindful Pregnancy
What other strategies did you add to your daily practice?
Tracy
