Are you Preparing for a Natural Birth or Just Hoping for One? Both Are Important.
Birth is often compared to running a marathon or climbing a mountain and no doubt you’ve heard the comment “You don’t get a medal for having a natural birth”. Over the many years in my work many moms have explained why having a natural (physiological) birth was so important to them….some say it’s for the challenge…..to see how far they can push themselves….others choose to birth without medication to give their baby the best start possible. Most aren’t ruling out medication but want to get as far as they can without it. There are many similarities between preparing for your first climb and preparing for an unmedicated birth.
Mountain climbing is viewed by some as an extreme sport, while for others it is an enjoyable, exhilarating hobby that offers the ultimate challenge of your strength, endurance and focus.
Do Your Research
Before you even set out to being climbing (or start preparing for your baby’s birth), do as much reading as you can about the skills needed and about other people’s experiences. It is as important to understand the mental effort required for mountain climbing and physiological birth as it is to be fit, and one of the best ways of understanding this is to read the stories of mountaineers who have climbed challenging, interesting, or ‘easy’ mountains. Lots of bookstores now carry sections specifically devoted to the mountain climbing, so it won’t be hard to find good books.
Talk to other moms who have had a natural birth in the hospital you’re attending. What helped them? What did they find most difficult? What books did they read? Research the intended climb well. Research your hospital – how do they support natural/unmedicated birth? Are labor pools available, birthing balls, are doulas welcome? What is their cesarean birth rate for healthy first time parents? Does your chosen place of birth truly support natural birth (their epidural rate will help you understand more of this aspect - a 90% epidural rate seems to suggest they may not be as supportive as you need them to be.
It’s important to realize that a hospital labor and delivery unit can be as busy as a train station - giving birth in a train station doesn’t facilitate the optimal hormonal release for a positive unmedicated birth.
GentleBirth trains you and your partner to tune out both internal and external distractions - you learn how to ‘hack’ your hormones, you’ll feel reassured that it doesn’t matter where you are physically in labor. It’s where you are in your head that matters. Mindfulness is a core practice as well as your hypnobirthing training.
One of the most common hurdles to an unmedicated hospital birth is being admitted too early.
Going in too early and staying when you’re in early labor is like being committed to healthy eating and sitting in McDonalds hoping you won’t be tempted by a Big Mac.
Fitness
Mountain climbing and birth requires a certain level of fitness and endurance skills because it is an intensely demanding physical activity. You can’t simply turn up for a big climb after a relatively sedentary office desk lifestyle…. Train for fitness and strength in ways that benefit you best. Birth can be physically demanding – prepare mind and body for the big day. Consider that a first time mom’s labor could be 24 hours or longer.
Find an Expert Guide
One of the best things you can do is to join a mountain climbing club near you. From this club, you’ll soon connect into other clubs through a shared network and you’ll be able to find trusted, and reputable guides. Join the GentleBirth Mom’s group and get along to some of the free meet-ups held in your community. Consider having a doula to guide you and your partner in your birth preparations and to support you both on the big day. An experienced guide is a priceless investment especially for a first time Mom and Dad. If you were travelling through the Himalayas you wouldn’t rely on YouTube videos or your partner’s National Geographic subscription to get you there - you’d hire a Sherpa. Your doula will help you stay home longer feeling more comfortable to stay home longer.
Mental Strength, Mindset and Resilience
So much of mountain climbing and an unmedicated birth is about your mental attitude (and a little courage thrown in too). For many mountaineers, the mental challenge is a huge part of the allure because you leave your comfy modern day life and arrive into a world where decision-making has major consequences and you are thoroughly tested physically, emotionally and mentally.
Birth is a head game – mental focus in labor is more important than you can fathom.
Having a flexible mindset is crucial - if bad weather hits ( i.e your baby needs assistance to be born) or you have to make a long detour or some other unexpected challenge arises, just like a mountain climber you are thankful for the expert assistance available to you and know you were as prepared as you could be for the event of your life. This is where all of your daily brain training really comes into play and helps you approach the events of the day with a certain level of mental flexibility. This is where our tagline ‘control the controllables’ will make such a difference to the unpredictability of birth.
Resist the temptation to follow advice from others to ‘just’ make a decision to not have an epidural without training - it sounds good but if fatigue sets in or other complications arise mental resilience will be your greatest ally. If you have a 3 hour labor you probably won’t need to call on much of that stamina training but if it’s 23 hours you’ll be glad for every bit of preparation you had. Have you ever watched a marathon - you might remember how excited, energized and focused those runners are at the starting line? Fast forward to the end of the marathon….what is it that gets them past ‘the wall’? Stamina, determination and months of training. Thankfully your ‘training’ takes a LOT less effort (lie down, press play, relax, repeat).
Don’t Just Hope You Can Do It
Train for it, prepare for it just like you would prepare to climb your mountain or run that marathon. Stack the odds in your favor of having the birth you’re planning with no regrets and use all of the tools in your GentleBirth toolkit. Practice daily with your GentleBirth App and use all of the tools - hypnobirthing, breathing techniques, meditation, mindfulness mindset and more.
For lots of moms labor without medication isn’t easy (yes there are some moms who experience their sensations as gas pains, constipation etc but it’s less common). The negative nellies will challenge you (better not to say anything about your plans for an unmedicated birth or you’ll just end up defending your position in every discussion about birth options). For every one person who wants to play critic, there are many many more who admire your courage and are rooting for you. You are doing what few do. Many talk about having an unmedicated birth but few are prepared to do what it takes to make it a reality.
What you are about to do does not come easy, or without determination and a courageous mindset. Take credit for what you are working towards.
All of that intense focus, training preparation pays off with the feeling of accomplishment, achievement and pride when you reach your personal summit and your newborn baby is in your arms…..feeling like you could move mountains!
Who needs medals when you feel like this.
PS
If you don’t make it to your personal summit of having an unmedicated birth despite training and preparing as much as you could please allow yourself the grace and space to accept the unexpected path your journey took. You more than anyone deserve to be a recipient of your own compassion and kindness if your baby’s birth takes a different turn.
(PPS - I’ve used the commonly used phrase ‘natural’ birth for an unmedicated birth in this instance - please don’t assume I am suggesting your birth or any birth is ‘unnatural’ if it wasn’t unmedicated).
Check out the GentleBirth Podcast for more inspiration and tips?
Download the App here from iTunes and here for Android phones or grab your copy of the GentleBirth book on Amazon (also as an audio book).
Read more about preparing for a positive physiological birth in hospital.
What are your tips for preparing for an unmedicated birth?