Giving Birth without An Epidural
My intentions for writing this blog is not to to try to convince you that an unmedicated birth is best etc etc or to tell you to “just have a home birth”.
I’m writing this blog to share some perspective, some insights into how privileged we all are and to help you wrap your head around your strength, your power, your courage and your mindset for the coming months. Your mindset is going to dictate how you experience labor and birth including the level of pain you experience.
Let’s begin with some facts.
Women around the world give birth without epidurals every day.
Women give birth during wars, in fields, in famines every day.
Most of these women won’t have access to a skilled midwife to support them compassionately and kindly.
Most won’t have access to a bath to help them through labor.
Most won’t have access to a TENS machine or a heat pack.
Most won’t have access to an app, a spotify labor playlist, a birthing ball, a birth pool.
Most won’t have access to a thermometer, an IV pump, IV fluids, a blood pressure cuff…clean running water…soap.
Most won’t have access to emergency medical care such as a life saving cesarean if there are complications in labor.
Most of these women won’t have access to hospitals.
But for the grace of god go you - you are not those women.
So although a potential shortage could be considered a ‘first world problem’ - most of us have grown up in a world where we feel epidurals are almost guaranteed to us which is what makes this discussion so distressing for so many parents.
Now I want you to do a little exercise with me - take another few deep breaths and go back down this list and end each sentence with the words ‘But I do…” with the emphasis on the word ‘I’.
Read through that list again with the extra words at the end. Notice how that feels in your body. Can you find a tiny bit of relief? Can you find even the slightest bit of appreciation for how good so many of us really have it especially if you’re having a healthy well pregnancy. I get it - those feelings of appreciation are bumping up against feelings of unfairness, disbelief and anger - I mean come on - we live in the developed world, how can this happen here? But right now I need you to keep returning to those feelings of appreciation - we need to intentionally focus on those feelings to crowd out the fear.
Every single day Midwives, doulas and nurses around the world witness first hand the power of women laboring without epidurals.
We know it can be painful.
We know it can be exhausting.
We know it can take you to the very edge of your sanity.
We know that for many reading this it’s your worst nightmare.
But we also know YOU CAN DO THIS
We also know that that giving birth without an epidural can be transformative instead of traumatic (something quite a lot of women assume).
Maybe for the first time in your adult life you are now contemplating the idea that you might not be able to get an epidural or it could be delayed. There’s no downside to this plan especially as you probably have a little extra unexpected free time right now. We’re in a state of shifting sands. Things are changing by the hour. You might still be able to get an epidural in your hospital next month - but if nothing else you’ll have some strategies to keep you feeling more comfortable and more in control until that amazing person walks through those doors ready to administer that sweet relief.
Things You Can Do Right Now!
Given the rise in unemployment leaving many expectant parents experiencing financial hardship be creative building your labor toolkit of comfort measures. There are lots of ways to mentally change your mindset without massive costs. These tools need to be widely accessible to as many birthing people as possible.
Choose to Watch Lots of Positive Unmedicated Birth Videos
Unmedicated birth isn’t always portrayed positively in the media so here’s a few links to positive birth videos of women giving birth without epidurals. Don’t dismiss them simply because some of these births are at home - they are all women…they all have the same reproductive organs you do - it’s their mindset that makes the difference. Be careful though - there’s some scary videos out there. There’s plenty of hypnobirthing videos on line too that you can search for but not everyone is interested in this approach. I want you to see and hear what unmedicated birth looks and sounds like for a large percentage of mothers.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1__NIhDv4U - Hospital birth - USA - 1st baby
https://blog.gentlebirth.com/home/positive-induction-and-gentlebirth-for-baby-ava - Hospital birth - induction - 1st baby
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z786zlI2sHo&t=166s - Hospital birth - UK - 1st baby
https://shebirthsbravely.com/10-birth-videos-every-pregnant-mama-should-watch/ - various
Hopefully watching these kinds of videos will have you starting to think “I can do that” instead of automatically assuming you can’t.
Hire a Birth Doula
Most hospitals have implemented a one nominated birth birth partner policy but many doulas are still offering in home support whenever possible to help parents comfortably stay home longer. Lots of doulas are also offering virtual support via Facetime etc to give you suggestions for positions, comfort measures, informational and emotional support. If you can’t afford a birth doula consider scheduling a virtual comfort measures consult for you and your partner. Many doulas offer payment plans to help ease the financial burden.
Take an Online Yoga Class
There’s lots of free prenatal videos on YouTube however we want to also help support small businesses struggling during this time so if you can pay for an online yoga class please do. You’ll develop more confidence in your body, learn helpful breathing techniques and get some gentle exercise (good for your mental health too). This is a great resource to download too.
Simple, Effective Comfort Measures
A bath, warm water, a TENS machine, heatpack, download this acupressure booklet for you and your partner. Make a playlist (yes music can influence pain perception). Hypnobirthing/meditation apps, a birth ball, maybe a rebozo, do you have some favorite essential oils you can use?
Rest as much as you can in early labor - conserve energy. Mobilize only when your body and baby direct you to start moving, stay hydrated and snack to keep your energy levels up.
Start practicing slow focused breathing
Birth is a Head Game
Join FB groups that have a focus on unmedicated birth (heads up there can be strong opinions on some of these groups) wanting an epidural does not make you any less of a loving mom (despite what some of the group members may post). My GentleBirth FB group has a wonderfully supportive ethos with about 10,000 other moms here to support you.
Read as many positive unmedicated birth stories as you can get your hands on. Books: If you have an audible subscription - Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth is inspirational. My GentleBirth book is also available on audible. We’re trying to figure out how to make the new book itself freely available with the new app coming soon so no need to go and buy lots of books.
Here’s some more tips on mindset and preparing for an unmedicated birth from an earlier blog on preparing for an unmedicated birth
Your Partner
If your partner was planning on mentally checking out after you got your epidural then of course they will need to change their expectations too. For some families with young children at home women are having another hard conversation about partners NOT accompanying mom to hospital. Will hospitals start to restrict partner access? They are in NY. But it may not come to that in your community. I hope it won’t but right now I’m considering all possibilities so there are the least amount of surprises for expectant moms. Again the Type A personality in me wants to help you prepare for all eventualities and I also know that’s not how everyone approaches uncertainty.
In part II you’ll hear from women in other countries where epidurals aren’t readily available and how they prepare themselves mentally for the challenges of labor and birth.
But for now.
YOU CAN DO THIS
YOU CAN
Stay well,
Tracy
https://www.rcog.org.uk/en/guidelines-research-services/guidelines/coronavirus-pregnancy/covid-19-virus-infection-and-pregnancy/
https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-on-covid-19-pregnancy-childbirth-and-breastfeeding
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1595040/#!po=91.6667